You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness within your social circles. That’s one reason why people are taught common courtesies and politeness at an early age. But there are ways beyond basic manners to strengthen your relationships and foster a community of togetherness. Below are a few tips for kindness and methods to inspire others to do the same.
1. Give and Receive Gifts
One of the most tangible acts of kindness you can do for someone is to give them a gift. Gifts show recipients that the giver cares about their happiness. In many cases, giving someone a small gift can help them through challenging times because it shows you’re thinking of them and caring.
For example, a get-well-soon gift can be a great way to show you care when a friend is combating a sickness. A personalized gift can tell someone you understand what they’re going through and are there to improve it. If you send a care package with soup, for example, you help nourish their body, showing you’re there to help them get better.
Gifts show people you are willing to sacrifice something in your life, like time and a little money, to make them feel better. And the reward for doing so makes you, the giver, also feel good! Because gifting is a reciprocal action, you should also be a good receiver of gifts.
Not everyone receives gifts well. It’s usually because they don’t want the obligation to repay the gift at a later date. They may also be concerned that the gift might have caused financial strain for the giver. In these instances, you may be tempted to avoid accepting gifts altogether, but that’s not always the kindest decision.
Poorly received gifts can make the giver think they misjudged what would make you happy, even after paying attention to your desires. They can also make you feel rejected. That’s why you ought to receive gifts as happily as you give them. Try not to refuse a gift. Instead, appreciate the effort that went into selecting something for you.
2. Pay and Receive Compliments
Compliments are like little gifts that you give to someone’s psyche. Part of growing kindness in your circle of friends or family is giving them affirming words about their choices and personality. Excite your friends! That said, there needs to be some balance. While you ought to compliment people often, you don’t want to deliver compliments too frequently. Doing so may make them appear less genuine over time.
You can encourage kindness through compliments by building others up when they’re not around. Think about the things you share if you gossip. Gossiping often demeans and belittles someone who’s not there. They also can’t defend themself if the information is derogatory. But what if you did the opposite through compliments?
Whenever you’re with people in your circle, try sharing positive thoughts and observations about someone who isn’t there if it feels natural in the conversation. Inserting compliments about a person who isn’t present will accomplish a few things. First, it will make the people around you believe better about the person not present. Second, it will build trust with the people around you because they’ll know you wouldn’t bad-mouth them if they weren’t present. Finally, it will inspire others to repeat the same positive behavior.
Always try to receive compliments well, too, and then move on. It’s not arrogant to accept a compliment. However, brushing off a compliment as if it weren’t accurate may create the impression that you’re seeking more compliments! Take the words of affirmation you’re given to heart, and let them elevate your day.
3. Give and Ask for Time
Giving your time is one of the most endearing things you can do for anyone, especially when someone needs a helping hand. Since many people have difficulty asking for support, you should try proactively asking people if you can do anything for them. If they refuse your offer, try asking them if they would lend a hand to you if the situation were reversed. This will make them rethink their perspective, and they may open up to accepting your help.
Let’s say a sibling, a coworker, or a friend asks you to work on a home improvement project. Because you care about them, you accept and are eager to be of service. You might even feel touched that they thought to ask you. After all, asking suggests that they think you are useful. They also feel comfortable enough in your relationship to ask you for a favor.
But from their perspective, they could be stressed out about inconveniencing you. If the situation were flipped, and you asked, would they help you? Positioning the problem this way can help your social circle be more accepting of kindness while learning how to do the same.
Everyone wants to help others. It just takes having the courage to ask. Doing so will give you the assistance you need and give others a chance to be useful. Try to get into a rhythm of sharing more of your own time. If you do, those in your social circle will do fewer tasks alone, giving you more opportunities to access each other’s skills. Not to mention, working together on projects or giving someone a ride when needed can create excuses to get together more.
Leading by Example
The key to encouraging kindness in your friends, family, or coworkers is to model behavior that others will want to mimic. When they see the wholesome example you bring to any scenario, they will eventually seek to imitate it.
Over time, you can expect to notice that small gestures can transform the overall dynamic of your social circle. As Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” You can be the one to spur positive behavioral change in those around you. Together, you can create a more empathetic and connected community.
